Struggling For Balance

I knew this pregnancy would be different, but I didn't know just HOW different. I assumed that I would be able to keep up hip hop up until the day that my cerclage would be placed. Under normal circumstances that would have been the case but I've spotted more during this pregnancy than my others. The minute I would be slightly active I would start to spot. For a parent who has lost a child due to incompetent cervix, spotting can be terrifying. I knew that it was normal but that small part of my brain just wouldn't switch off. So, I stopped going to hip hop.

I miss it more than anything. I feel more tired and lethargic. I'm also having a hard time readjusting my food intake. I was burning a lot of calories daily with hip hop but now I'm used to eating more but I'm not burning nearly as many calories. It's hard on my self-esteem. I'm giving in way too easily to my cravings and have no problem talking myself into eating what I want. I don't want to undo all my hard work yet. I want to gain what's necessary to keep my baby and my body healthy.

I've been reading the Beck Diet Solution which has given me some interesting insights and I need to read more. My fatigue is out of this world right now which is why I haven't gotten more into the book yet. I'm doing my best to at least log my food so I know where I'm at each day.

My mom helped me out and roasted me a bunch of peppers, onions, broccoli and zucchini. Having the food prepped and ready guarantees that it will get used where as right now, I'd sooner pass out on the couch then take the time to cut, prep, and roast my veggies. I'm still active on the Jenny Craig forums but not as active as before. I feel like a sham... having been so successful but struggling so much right now. I don't have much advice to offer so I mostly just read.