Reyna Elisa Yagi
Here I am again, ready to write and get down all my thoughts that I’ve been hoarding these last 3 months. The closer my due date got, the more worry started to gradually set in. I participated in an online forum for bereaved families but it’s been awhile since I’ve checked in. Everyone handles grief differently and it was too hard for me to read day in, day out all the pain out there. There were so many different stories and they only made me worry about all the infinite, scary things that could happen. I prefer to subscribe to positivity so I stayed away from that forum for awhile.
Was something wrong with me that I was not still in active grief from losing my son? In my heart I knew there was nothing wrong with my own experience. I mourned, I accepted and I actively choose each day to remember that there is a reason for everything, even if I can’t identify it.
Work was stressful and that in a sense was a blessing because it kept my busy constantly. Luckily, we found someone to bring into the office that I feel will be here for a good while. I got busy training her but my body was still over stressed. At each doctor visit I had slightly elevated blood pressure. I did a series of non stress tests and even a 24 hour urine catch and blood test which showed that I was free from pre-eclampsia.
My doctor still decided to move my c-section up an extra week to December 2nd. There were no operating rooms available so up it moved again to Monday the first. I was so excited to know that I’d be meeting my baby girl in four days. I wasn’t sure how we would pull off the hospital stay. Moctar is working two jobs, my mom is covering for me at work, my brother was starting an art show and all my other friends either work or have kids of their own. Samantha was staying with Henna so it was unrealistic for her to then be up all night with me.
I knew this time I wanted the baby to room in with me so that I could really establish breastfeeding. But I also knew that with a c-section the first night is nearly impossible to get up independently due to the catheter and the foot compression machine. Shiree arranged to stay with me that first night and then Samantha stayed the other nights with me and we let Henna sleep over with my parents.
Moctar was with me during the c-section which took painstakingly long … in my head, that is, not in reality. I was nearly holding my breath waiting to hear that first cry. Well, she didn’t disappoint. Her little gargling cries were so strong, much louder than Henna had been. She looked so much like Henna but so different at the same time. Moctar got to stay with Reyna as they cleaned her up and closed me up. Then he came back over and sat next to my head with our baby girl in his arms. This time around they brought her to me immediately and let me nurse and hold her on my chest. They didn’t take her to the nursery until much later.
Reyna Elisa Yagi was born Monday December 1st at 9:48 am weighing 8 pounds 1 oz and measuring at 20 and a quarter inches.
We received many visits in the hospital and got in many a snuggle with our new baby girl. But my favorite memory was seeing Henna's reaction to her baby sister.
"Mommy, I can't see her"