Highs and Lows

In any journey there will be highs and there will be lows. It's like you're circling a mountain... round and round not sure if the next bend will bring you up or down. This past week I've been soaring. My energy level has been so high and I have been on the go from the time I get up and head to work until the time I hit the pillow. I did a lot of extra hip hop this week to make up for snow days and I finished week 3 of the C25K.

But at night, just before I fall asleep I've been feeling a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. A light flutter... a memory of a life that used to dwell there. March 12th ... Alhassan's original due date is rapidly approaching and all I see are glowing pregnant women, birth announcements and pregnancy announcements. I'm so happy for my friends and family but at the same time so sad. I hate feeling sad for myself. I don't usually dwell on this sadness but it has been playing tricks on me. Filling my dreams and my thoughts. Maybe that's the reason I have been keeping myself so busy.

Since I don't know when I'll be expecting again... I'm focusing on what I can control. The journey changed from adding a baby to our family to me getting to my goal weight. I can't begin to imagine where I would be if I didn't have the support system that I have now. I'm sure a million more tears would have been shed.

Today was a bit sour but there is always something good to be seen in each day. You have to actively make the choice to see that good and to put that as your focus. Don't let the lows overpower the highs.